I'm not quite sure how a post about ponies can be logically followed by a post about unhappiness... But, you know, such is life. Sometimes you get a pony and are ecstatic and promptly jump on said pony and gallop across rainbows and sunshine-dappled streams and think, I will never know sadness again. And then the next day you're sitting in bed crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. For the record, I have never indulged in either activity, but this may be only because a) WHERE IS MY PONY, and b) Ben and Jerry's is far too luxurious for my cheap college student budget.
But I have been very happy and then very sad for seemingly no reason whatsoever. I know I'm not alone in this. Why does this happen? From where does unhappiness stem? Allow me to ponder.
a. The conclusion of happiness. (Duh.) Break-ups are sad. Separation is sad. The cancellation of The Middleman was sad (was I the only person in America who watched that show, by the way?). After the end of something happy, a natural fear sets in that such happiness will never be discovered again. Even if it's something as simple as beating a great video game, or finishing a great book, or eating the last bite of a great sea-salt-sprinkled Nutella cookie--that fear is still there, somewhere. It's a state of happiness limbo. Hence: sadness.
b. Dwelling on negative aspects of one's life. There are very obviously different types of sadness and unhappiness. The kind that follows death or suffering or other huge, horrible things is one kind. No one should ever be surprised or feel ashamed by sadness in such cases. That is natural; that is humanity. However, I also believe that people can generate their own unhappiness simply by not trying to be happy. Is this a simple concept? Yep. Is it incredibly difficult to grasp nevertheless? Oh yeah, buddy. I am so often guilty of this that it's pathetic. I'm a pretty peppy, positive person when it comes to other people, but, for some reason, I would much rather dwell on what is negative in my life than focus on--and be grateful for--the positives. Ouch. I could be surrounded by happy things, and yet, by choosing to think only about the infinitesimal things that sadden me, unhappiness would inevitably ensue. And it would be all my fault. Cue crying into a cheap pint of ice cream. How dumb is that?
I'm actually going to stop right there because I just figured out my problem.
But if you, like me, find that you are feeling unhappy for no good reason, take a step back, there, partner. Take a breath. Think about it. Pray about it, if you're so inclined. You may have a completely natural and valid reason to feel unhappy, and, if so, I am so sorry, and if you want to talk or bake sugar donut muffins or anything, please let me know. I will be so there. If your unhappiness feels unwarranted but is to an extent that is crippling or painful, please talk to someone you trust about it. That is a scary thing. However, if you're feeling mysteriously unhappy for no good reason, and are thinking, gosh, I just want to stop being unhappy--then stop. You can totally do that. Don't be afraid of happiness limbo. If you eat the last cookie, you can bake more later. If you finish a great book, let's go to the library. If you are surrounded by happiness, then truly immerse yourself in it, letting yourself enjoy it instead of shying away from it. You deserve it, truly. We all do. Go on. Get on that pony and splash through the sun-dappled stream. It'll be great. Maybe, you can even invite someone with you next time.
(:
Dani
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